Karen talks about how we are who God made us to be and we shouldn't let others take that away from us. That we should hold onto who we are. I don't think that I have ever fully understood that until this evening. I got to meet the people in my course for the first time today. After a meeting we went across the street to the pub called the Imperial. I got to meet some PhD students and the 2nd years in my course. Somewhere along the way I stopped talking. A girl turned to me and asked me if there was something wrong. I said no and that I'll get louder and more talkative later. Her reply was "go big or go home." For a couple of minutes I sat there hating that I am awkward when I meet people and that I wish it could change. But then I realized that I have always been like this and nothing that I do will ever make that different. Sure I can try and talk and make conversation (I did it for four years on tour). But the awkwardness is always there. It's just who I am. I shouldn't let this girl that has a need to be the center of attention tell me how I should be, how I should live, how I should act. Sure I felt stupid for the rest of the evening with the awkwardness that surrounded me. But I can accept that for now, cause I have no other choice.
Quite the opposite thing happened last night. I went to a Nooma meeting. There were maybe twenty people there. But they all took me in. They started with me coming in the door. I met Kiri and Sarah. They talked to me until I headed upstairs for the meeting to start. There were others that came up to me right away and talked to me genuinly interested in who I was and where I had come from. Wonderufl people that I want to know too. I also met a girl named Tory. She is studying to be a nurse. We talked for a while about how she has wanted to be a nurse since she was four. I find that totally fascinating. I guess that I have found my home away from home with these people. I made friends last night. I made friends last night that I believe that I will have for my time here. Two opposite meetings. Two opposite responses. But the same me.
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Hey daughter,
We, across the big pond, love who you are. Don't change that - get smarter, get wiser, get older, get closer to Christ, but don't change.
I have read some of your blog. I like your observations - about your new environment, about yourself, and about how you deal with 'different'.
I am so proud of you and just want you to know that we love you and miss you very much.
Keep blogging, Dad
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