Conversations with God

If there is something that has increased in my life, it is the amount of time I communicate with God. Not just talking, but listening. Life here is different. Gone is the safety net that Orange City has become for me. And in it's place is a city, and department that is breaking at the seems with non-Christians. With the change of dynamic is a change in the way I behave, act, and talk in that community.

A couple of weeks ago I got really mad and frustrated because of all the complaining that is going on in and among and about the people in my course. I don't want to spend my spare time talking down about people and complaining about how so-and-so ruined some performance or another. I want uplifting conversation that focuses on things above rather than the things below. I want to talk about good theatre, what works and doesn't work, I want to talk about people's uplifting qualities. I want to leave the past there and look forward to the future. I spent Friday night out with some of the girls. The night consisted of complaints on something that cannot be changed. I kept my mouth shut. I didn't try to change the subject. I didn't try and defend those who were being picked on. I did nothing. Sometimes doing nothing hurts more than doing something and being shunned. I don't know what to do about this. I can only ask God for help. We are still working on it together, in constant communication when the complaining is going on.

Church is another thing that God is communicating with me about. Trinity was a wonderful place to be. I loved it there. Trying to find a church here in Exeter is a different experience. It's not like choosing from the same types of church (ie Reformed variations), it is like picking from totally different churches. I tried a church, River Dream Center, my first week here in Exeter and decided that I didn't want to be there. I judged too fast because of how uncomfortable I was.

This past week at Nooma Liana was talking about the local church and what it means to us as Christians. And as clear as if God was just behind me on my left, God said "you need to go to River Dream Center." Conversation ensued. I complained about my level of comfort. God challenged me to be challenged. To step outside of who I am and where I have been stuck. To try letting God work in my life in powerful ways instead of limiting like I have been. I knew there was nothing else to do, but to go. So I went. And God challenged me in my thinking tonight. I'm still thinking about it and wrestling with it. I think I'll be contemplating it for a long time. While growing can be painful and frustrating, I'm glad that I came here. I'm glad that God is challenging me. I'm glad that I'm growing. I'm glad that God is concerned about where I am as a spiritual being. I'm glad that God is good ALL the time.